Dealing
by LJL
Summary: A night at the Tower...Tim deals with trying to put the Titans back together again, Rose deals with being attracted to an actually decent male for the first time in her life, and Cassie very pointedly doesn't deal with her issues regarding Connor.
1. Tim

"How are things going?"

Such a loaded question. With the headache I had had since returning to Titans Tower in San Fransisco, I felt as though I could have gone off at any minute; the question, as idiotic and simplistic as it sounded to me, made me simmer a bit more. I'd been pushed before. This whole thing was pushing me dangerously close to the edge.

Thankfully, I have self-control.

"What would you like to hear about first?" I asked, unblinking behind my black mask.

"How is Rose doing?" Nightwing asked. Obviously. I knew that would be his first question.

"Well...that's tough," I said. I didn't want to break this too harshly to Dick...for some reason, he liked the psychopath. "On the professional side, she's impulsive, quick to anger, and inappropriately lethal if left unchecked. On the personal side, she's promiscuous, decadent, and paranoid. She's convinced that the rest of the team wants her gone; she can't seem to get along with any of us in a normal way except Kid Devil, and if _that_ isn't symbolic..."

Nightwing laughed. "Give her some time," he said. "I have faith in both of you."

I straightened up and tried to stay focused on the camera. "Thanks," I said. "That's gonna help a lot the next time she shows up naked in my bed...while I'm busy kicking her out, I'll make sure to mention to her that you "have faith in her." Maybe she won't try it again if she knows."

"She did what?" Nightwing asked.

"You heard me," I said, rubbing the bridge of my nose.

"Well, that's a little unexpected..." Nightwing said. "Well, look, Tim...I know that Rose is a bit more..._forward_...than the kind of girls you're used to, but maybe having a little companionship would be good for you."

I took a second to respond to that. "Would it be good for her?" I asked, rhetorically.

"Well, you said she's having trouble getting along with you all in a normal way..." Nightwing said. "Maybe it'd...loosen her up a bit."

"That's not even funny," I said.

"It's a little funny," Nightwing said. "Your sense of humor isn't completely dead, as much as you'd like to pretend it is."

"I thought you were calling for a status report," I said. "Was that for the status of the team, or my sex life?"

Nightwing shifted uncomfortably. I'd been like his little brother for years now; although he'd undoubtedly enjoyed goading me a moment before, hearing me talk so frankly about sex must have unnerved him a bit. Good. That was my intention. "How is the rest of the team doing?"

"Kid Devil seems to be adjusting fairly well," I said. "He has a bit of an outsider complex, like Rose, but for the most part, he's here for the same reasons most of us came in the first place – because this is a place to get away from the overbearing watch of mentors. Cyborg is still recovering – he's been avoiding overexerting himself. Spends most of his time in those self-diagnostic sequences down in his chambers. And as for Cassie, well...I don't even know Cassie anymore. She's angry at everyone and everything, and that seems to go double for me."

"She feels like you abandoned her," Nightwing said, reasonably.

"Did I?" I asked. "She was hurting pretty bad after Connor died...I should have stuck around and helped her through it...instead, I went running off with you and Bruce."

Nightwing paused a moment to compose himself correctly. "We all did what we had to do after the Crisis," he said. "You, me and Bruce...we all needed to figure out who and what we were. In that state, you probably wouldn't have done your friend much good."

"Yeah..." I muttered, unconvinced.

"Anything on the other Titans?" Nightwing asked, trying to sound casual. I knew what he was getting at, though, and I really didn't want to talk about it...so I avoided it.

"Well, Speedy is off with Connor Hawke, Beast Boy is still running with the Doom Patrol, Bart doesn't have his powers anymore and is retired, and Raven...we have no idea where Raven is," I said. There was an "and" on the tip of my tongue that I suppressed quickly, but I'm sure Nightwing saw it.

"And...what about Starfire?" he asked, still trying to sound casual.

I swallowed. "Dick, I...we've been looking. You know that, because I'm sure you have been, too. No one on Earth knows what happened to Koriand'r. She never came back from the confrontation in outer space, and the ones who did come back – Vic included – don't know what happened to the ones who didn't. I'm sorry."

Nightwing nodded, grimly. I could practically see the grimace behind his mask. _Not in love with her anymore my _ass.

"Other than that...well, you know how it was here since we left with Bruce...they've been going through members left and right. I'm trying my best to hold things together, but if Rose and Eddie can't get over this outsider thing, Vic can't get his head back in the game, and Cassie can't get her head out of the game for more than five seconds at a time, I'm afraid its all going to fall apart again. The family here was always a little wacky, but now its just...dysfunctional."

"You'll get over it," Nightwing said. "I have faith."

"If you're so convinced that I can handle anything here," I said. "Why bother with the status reports?"

"What, these? Two reasons," Nightwing said. "One, they're just in case you need help and are too stubborn to call me or Bruce and ask. Two, I just like to bust you up every once and a while. Keeps my self-esteem high."

"You're funny," I said. "If there's anything to report, I'll call you. Rest assured."

"I will. See around, Tim."

"Good-bye, Dick."

After our good-byes, were finished, I pressed a button next to the display panel and it went dark. I pushed back my chair and stood, by back and knees cracking. I stretched, trying to get the kinks out – that "status report" had turned into an hour long conversation. Not that I minded. I didn't get enough chances to speak with Dick personally anymore. Not since I'd decided to move to Titans Tower on a more permanent basis.

That particular decision had come after Bruce brought up the possibility of adoption again. Sure, I'd gone along with it – I'd loved the idea, actually; Bruce and I really were family, despite both of our attempts to avoid the idea. Bruce wasn't my only family, though. When Vic had asked me to come back to Titans Tower and live here for a while – long enough to get the team back on its feet.

So...here I was. Back living in the Tower...fighting alongside a couple of old friends and dearly wondering if they were really still my friends. Bottom line – I didn't know how to help them. So instead of trying too hard, I just went out each day and put on my "leader" face.

I hope Rose isn't in my room when I get back there. I could use some sleep – without having to kick a naked psycho out of my bed first.


	2. Rose

I know he had to have that little talk with Nightwing tonight. He mentioned it over dinner – one of a few attempts at conversation that were met with stony silence.

"Nightwing will be checking in tonight," Robin had said over dinner. "Anyone have anything they want me to mention to him?"

Vic sat at the other end of the table. He didn't say anything. Cassie sat on his right, twirling her fork through her pasta – she didn't say anything, either. Kid Devil sat next to me, devouring his own pasta – he was too busy with the food to form words. And as for me...I didn't say anything right away. Vic was Nightwing's friend – wouldn't he have a message? And Cassie was Robin's friend...why was she always so...quiet and angry?

"Uh...tell him...I said "hi," okay?" I said, a bit hesitantly.

"Me as well," Vic said, a half second after me.

Silence descended again, but for the scraping of Cassie's and Eddie's forks. "Sure thing..." Robin said, and abandoned the idea of conversation.

Dinners were usually like that; why Robin insisted that we all eat together, I'm not sure. Maybe I'll ask him about that sometime.

Damn...where is he? That call is taking an awful long time...

Finally, the door clicked and retracted, admitting Robin into his room. This time, I felt his eyes scan the room and catch sight of me in the dark. He wasn't going to be surprised the same way twice. My eyes flashed – who doesn't like a guy with a brain?

Robin put his hands on his hips and attempted to look stern; mostly he looked tired. "Rose, I'm not in the mood for this again tonight," he said.

"And what do I have to do to get you _in_ the mood?" I asked, trying to sound seductive. I was in costume, but, with a slight tug in the right places, that began to change quickly.

"Rose, please," Robin said, and for the first time since I'd arrived at the Tower, I felt as though he was really talking to me, rather than at me. "It's been a long day...and a long week...I really just want to lay down and relax for a little while."

"So? Let me help you relax," I said, moving off the bed and walking towards him.

Robin caulked his head, seeming to size me up. "Do you suppose you could do that while keeping your clothes _on_?" he asked.

"Uh, yeah...if that's how you swing, sure," I said, surprised. "What do you want me to do, exactly?"

"Uh, I don't know," Robin said. He reached inside his cape, fiddled with something, and it came off. "I'm not really used to situations like this..."

"Well...would you like a back rub?" I asked. "Those are...relaxing."

"Uh...yeah," Robin said. "Yeah. That sounds nice."

I moved around behind him and raised my hands to his shoulders. Hesitantly, I pressed my thumbs into his back, around his shoulder blades, and I felt him cringe. "Sorry," I said. "I've never done this before."

"That's okay," he said. "My back is probably pretty tense."

"No surprises there," I muttered. "You really need to lighten up a little, Rob..."

"That's not happening any time soon," he said. I hit a knot and he cringed again. "I need to be on the ball twenty-four seven to get this team running again."

I giggled mischievously. "Well, if you ever want someone on _your_ balls..."

Robin pulled away from me. "Rose, why do you do that?" he asked. "That stunt that you pulled the other day, too...why do you do all this?"

I faltered. "Don't...don't you like me?" I asked.

"I barely know you," Robin said. "I want to get to know you better, but I just don't do the things you keep implying. It isn't in my personality."

I was met by several different emotions at once. Amazement was strongest – I'd figured, up until now, that Robin was just too pigheaded to accept me as a mate and that he'd knuckle under and go for me eventually. This, though...what was this?

"I don't understand," I said casting my eyes downward in embarrassment – one of a few emotions I kept concealed at all times. "Is there something wrong with me, that you don't want to..."

"No, no," Robin said. "It has nothing to do with you – it's me..."

"Oh, like I haven't heard that one before," I interrupted. "I watch TV, Robin."

"God, will you just listen for a minute?" Robin said, a bit angrily. "What I mean is, I like you just fine – I just don't want to rush into a physical relationship."

"Why not?" I asked. "I mean, you say its not in your personality – okay, I get that. But why isn't it in your personality? We're both consenting...uh, near-adults. And its not like you and me haven't seen enough to be considered adults. I lost my innocence a long time ago, and I'm pretty sure you lost yours a long time ago, too. So...what's holding you back?"

Robin stopped to think. "I guess I've never really thought of it that way," he said. "It's just that...I feel like that sort of thing should go along with love. You know, that I shouldn't do...have sex...until I really fall in love. That's just how I feel."

I felt my eyes well up and, once again, I dropped my head to avoid having Robin see me like that. "Oh, man..." I said. "You're actually a decent guy..."

Robin laughed. "We do exist,"he said. "Come on, sit down and talk to me...I'd like to get to know you better..."

So...I did. I sat next to Robin, on his bed (although I quickly forgot what it was), and I told him about myself. I told him about my mother...I talked a bit about my adoptive parents, the ones I'd barely had the time to get to know myself...I talked about Wintergreen...I talked about the time I'd spent with the Titans, the time before Robin himself had been a part of the group...and I talked about my father, Slade Wilson – Deathstroke.

To his credit, Robin seemed just as interested in the mundane parts about my mother's perfume or how Wintergreen used too much starch as the parts about my father. It would have been okay with me if he'd only cared about getting more useful information on Deathstroke, but in the end...it didn't feel like that was what he was doing at all.

I talked for what could have been a couple of hours or a couple of minutes; although I felt tired when I finally wound up my story, I also felt as though I didn't want it to end. However, I realized that the conversation had become entirely one sided.

"What about you, Robin?" I asked, inclining my head. "You've heard my story, and I...I've never even heard your name."

"That's a secret," Robin said. "I keep my identity a secret, Rose."

"I'd like to keep mine a secret, too," I said. "But not from all of you. I trust you with my secret, don't I?"

"Well, yes," Robin said. "Look, it's just that...I'm not comfortable telling you my name yet. I need to talk to some other people before I can do that."

"Parents?" I asked, and his face clouded significantly. "Well, okay. If you ever feel like trusting me, let me know."

"I trust you, Rose," Robin said.

"You do?" I asked, skeptical.

"I wouldn't have let you onto this team if I didn't trust you," he said, and I believed him.

"Okay then...trust me now," I said, and leaned forward and kissed him.

I felt his body tense again. He was ready to push me back at any second and get me to stop. I didn't give him the chance; I pulled back myself after only a moment. "There...that wasn't so bad."

Since I was deeply unsure of how he was going to respond to this, I got up off the bed and quickly walked out the door, without saying good-bye or good night. As the door closed, though, I heard him mutter. "Not bad at all..."

I smiled. Genuinely.


	3. Cassie

I walked back from the gym, sweaty and ready for a shower, toweling my hair as I went. After dinner – another exercise in awkwardness – Tim had gone off to talk to Nightwing, Rose had slunk off to...well, who knows, and Kid Devil had gone back to his room, citing a new communique from Blue Devil that required his attention. Vic, as usual, had departed for his chamber, to...rejuvinate.

As for me, I'd gone to the gym to work off some aggression. It hadn't worked; I still felt like beating down the walls. _Just one wall...it's not like anyone will care..._

I stepped out of the elevator on the living quarters level and headed down the hall to my room. I contemplated a couple of different alternatives – several of which involved leaving the Tower and never returning – for my evening. As tempting as leaving sounded, I wasn't going to do it; too much of my stuff was here. And anyway, we still had several cases pending that I didn't want to go back to square one on.

"It's just that...I feel like that sort of thing should go along with love. You know, that I shouldn't do...have sex...until I really fall in love. That's just how I feel."

I stopped. Tim's room. The rooms were supposed to be sound-proofed, but the recent...refit...the Tower had undergone had left some of the amenities lacking. A lack of amenities wasn't really what caught my attention, though.

That was Tim's voice...and unless there were some parts of his personality he'd neglected to mention, the only person in the Tower he could be talking to was the Ravager. Rose. She's tried to kill us on more than one occasion, and here was Tim, explaining why he thought sex should be an experience for lovers only to her. As though she could understand that.

_As though he can understand that, too_.

Not for the first time, it hit me. Although some more conversation was floating out of Tim's room, I couldn't hear it. I stumbled forward, tears flooding out of my eyes. I barely made it to my room and through the door before I collapsed on my bed, absolutely sobbing.

Connor.

That night at the farm...oh God, we'd both thought it might be our last night together. We were in love – we'd been in love for what had felt like years – and we were both afraid that Superboy Prime was going to come back and go after Connor again. So really...why not? Why shouldn't we have made love?

I didn't find out until much later why not. They say the first time hurts – well, they're right about that. But they didn't mention the...the connection. I felt like he was a part of me that night, and he felt the same way about me. Our souls touched that night. We were both beyond happiness – for the first time in my life, I felt plain _right_. Everything felt perfect.

Then it all fell apart. I couldn't save Connor. God; he saved the whole world, all those people, and I couldn't even help _him_. He died there, in my arms, a hero. We memorialized him. Everyone talked about how great he was. Superman read a eulogy that'll probably be quoted for another century or two. There wasn't a person on the planet who didn't know just how wonderful Connor was and how much he gave to help the world.

When it was over, everyone went back to their lives – granted, as best as they could. But still, most of them forgot Connor in that way that people forget their heroes – they still knew his name, would still nod in respect for what he did, but they didn't _think_ about him all the time. That was left to me.

Left...that's exactly the feeling. I was what was left of Connor. That connection was gone. My perfect world was shattered. It was, without a doubt, the best night of my life, and thinking about it hurt more than I could bear.

I punched my pillow. Then I punched it again. I didn't want to think about the pain. The logical part of my brain knew that I needed to work out my problems, but since the only times I'd tried I'd ended up in...somewhat unfortunate...circumstances, these days I preferred going out and beating up criminals.

When it finally got to be too much, I hit my pillow one more time – bursting it and scattering little bits of fluff everywhere. I grabbed my lasso off of a table and, not bothering to change out of the gym suit I was wearing, I flew at breakneck speed out of the window of my room. I shattered the glass on the way out. Vic might get upset about that – it was something Starfire used to do with alarming frequency.

If I was very lucky, there'd be a mugging going on right now that would provide me with ample reason to beat the snot out of someone.


End file.
